Timmy Luvs Stoya - Conclusion

Puppy Love (a poem for Stoya)

I am a puppy and you are a kitty.
We're eternal foes!  Isn't fate such a pity?
But if you do not scratch me then I will not bite...
And I'll stay by your side all through morning and night.
So if you're meowing, you purr, or you wail...
Your doggy is listening and wagging his tail!

The End

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Moving Up

I've decided to move to New York to be closer to Stoya.  It's a long walk from where I live now, so I better get going.  Before I go, I have just enough time for one more blog post...

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Just Married

I got married over the weekend to my long-time partner.  It was a wonderful ceremony in front of all my friends and family.  I had tears streaming down my face when the priest said "I now pronounce you man and Stoya Fleshlight"!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Sleep Over

I finally convinced Stoya to spend the night with me.  I knew that nobody would believe me, so I took a picture of my sink drain the next morning after she left my house as proof.  You can clearly see her armpit hair in this photo!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Physically Fit

There are a lot of physical demands to being a porn star.  Actresses like Stoya have to be flexible as well as strong.  I'm so weak, I once suffered a "grade 2 buttocks sprain" giving my girlfriend a hug!  But what hurt even more was that she then proceeded to steal my wallet while I was curled up on the floor.

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Product Endorsements

Corporate endorsements can be very important for actors...even "porn" actors like Stoya.  To capitalize on how beautiful her backside looks after a good spanking, Crayola is releasing their new crayon color: "Stoya-Ass Red".

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Derby Talk

I was watching "Talk Derby to Me" starring Stoya, and I got emotional at the scene when the three female bullies throw the nerd's backpack in a game of keep-away.  It reminds me of the time that happened to me as a kid, except the three female bullies beat the crap out of me afterwards...

And I also got emotional over the scene with Stoya and Joanna Angel in the shower, because that reminds me of the time as a kid when I saw my two sisters in the shower together...and they used up all the hot water!!!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Stoya Doll

Stoya sometimes goes by her full name "Stoya Doll".  (Ok...I know it's not her LEGAL name!)  Can you imagine if you could actually get a "Stoya Doll" for Christmas?!?!  It would be a MUCH better present to receive than the new "Timmy Doll" being released this year.  You can pull his string and listen to Timmy's three most common "catch phrases":

- "Sorry.  Thinking about baseball usually works for me..."
- "Honest.  It looks bigger in the correct lighting..."
- "That wasn't me.  That was the dog farting again..."

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Spring Cleaning

Stoya recently did some "spring cleaning".  As you can clearly see in this screenshot, I was simply trying to help her any way possible and was not being a creepy pervert at all...

Besides, why would I need to buy her underwear when I already have a perfectly good pair!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Beauty is Power

A famous person once said "Beauty is power; a smile is its sword".  So just put the actual sword down and just smile, Stoya.  I don't need another circumcision!

(Authors note:  I'm being told I need to give credit on this photo.  Not sure why this guy would want to be forever associated with a pic of my "schlong" on the Internet, but here it is...
By Rory_Hanrahan - Own work, FAL, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=6814029)

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Dirty Souls

I heard that somebody once criticized Stoya because the bottoms of her feet are sometimes dirty in her videos.  Dang!!!  That person had to go PRETTY FAR down the list of possible things to find fault with Stoya.  I don't know for sure, but I bet that must make Stoya feel pretty good about herself and her "yucky-colored feet"!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Hulk Hogan

It's a good thing Stoya never dated Hulk Hogan.  Their children wouldn't look so great based on these computer simulation results from a genetic cloning lab!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Still Hope

I finally have realized that Stoya will never fall in love with me.  There's no WAY she could be into a guy who looks like a geek and has a doughy dad-body.  Now that I think about it...didn't she used to date someone with that EXACT same description?  Yeah...it was James Deen!  There's hope for me yet!!!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Popular Movie

Due to how popular one particular Stoya movie has become over the years, Webster's has decided to add "Web-Whore" to their dictionary.  I can't wait to use that during my next game of Scrabble!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Natural Beauty

Stoya is a natural beauty.  She doesn't need any make-up or plastic surgery or digital alterations with Photoshop in order to look like a gorgeous lady.  What I'm trying to say is: Stoya is NOTHING like "Carrot Top"...

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Book Club

Stoya is involved in a book-reading club that meets regularly.  Never before have so many sex-crazed illiterate men gathered all in one place pretending to care about books!

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Timmy Luvs Stoya - The Reverend

Stoya is involved in a new website called ZeroSpaces which is run by somebody calling themselves "Reverend Mitcz".  I think it's great that Stoya is employing people that are struggling.  I hear that the "Reverend's" church is not doing so well.  After listening to him, his congregation opts for "Jonestown Kool-Aid" instead of the communion wine!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com

Timmy Luvs Stoya - Photographer

Stoya lives with a photographer as a roommate.  That really has to come in handy for her.  I have to take all of my pictures myself by setting up my camera-phone with a timer.  While I'm waiting for the picture to be taken, I have to try really hard not to look down and admire my "junk"!

http://TimmyLuvsStoya.blogspot.com